Knowledge is power and never enough

2005-03-31 - 4:29 p.m.

So - about the Indian. He was writing to me regularly and I knew that I had to do something. He wrote that he thought about me and what all we used to do together, and wanted tme to write him about my sex life. I'm not doing that, no, sorry. Number one, I'm fucking a married man, so it would be exceedingly stupid to provide anyone with ammunition. Instead, I reminded him of a night we spent together as a little fantasy-inducement. thought it was the least I could do. Well, that prompted a letter asking me to be the one who picks him up when he's released in July. I knew then that I had to shut him down. So I tried to do that as gently as possible, telling him the truth, that I can't handle any type of relationship with him and that it's not good for me to allow myself to get close to him on any level anymore. Apparently, this honesty from me was a little too honest, because I've not heard another word from him. He doesn't like it when I have the power in the relationship. When we started out together, me at 19, him at 30, he was da MAN, he was the one with all the wisdom and answers, but that's changed. All his power now is in withholding love and affection, and if I do that first, what does he have left? Not a damn thing. So he withdraws to lick his wounds.

I know him like I know myself, but all the knowledge in the world isn't enough to ever make us able to get it right.

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still here - 2009-12-18
and so it goes - 2008-12-16
Watch out Benedict! - 2008-01-28
She got hit with the cancer stick - 2008-01-26
The Cure, Amy & Britney & Dogshit - 2008-01-05