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Fast food debacle
2004-09-07 - 10:29 p.m. Ok, before I start, let me just state that one obvious conclusion that can be drawn from this is that I eat entirely too much fast food, but let me say that I already know this, so that is not the conclusion that we are working towards. Last week, Brandon, the boy who is not my son but who is living at my house and who goes to school with mi hija, was suspended from school already for skipping, but that is a whole �nother issue we may or may not revisit later. What that meant to me was that I would have to drive mi hija to school. So I did, and on my way back from Alligator to Nutria, I stop at the Golden Arches to get a breakfast sandwich. I always order a steak and cheese biscuit w/o egg, unless I have my chihuahuas w/ me, and then I get it w/ the egg and split the egg between them. I don�t like the bagel thing b/c it�s just too big and filling and chewy and hey, I live in the south, and southerners want their biscuits, dammit! The chihuahuas were with me that morning, and I got them their egg, which made their little doggie hearts all happy. I pull away from the window (big mistake) and open the bag. | | | | | | | It�s a steak, egg, and cheese bagel. So, ok, now I�m running late, b/c I have to get back to Nutria, drop off said chihuahuas after first making sure they have the opportunity to shit, because they are small dogs who just ate eggs, and there isn�t much room between mouth and ass in a chihuahua, and I don�t want to be cleaning up no chihuahua shit when I get back from work, get a shower and get dressed for work and get back to Alligator by 9 a.m. when it is already 7:50 a.m. and now I got to wait in the line w/ 4 cars ahead of me or go into Mickey-D�s braless, in the t-shirt I slept in, and probably run into the mayor or something. Or eat the damn bagel I didn�t order, and I think we all know that�s not going to happen. So I finally get up to the window w/ a human and I tell them they screwed up my order, I ordered it on a biscuit, not a bagel. Einstein tells me they don�t make �em like that. While I fucking already know that this is not Burger King, and it�s a fucking act of congress to �have it my way� at this particular fast food outlet, we are not talking rocket science here, y�all. We are talking about putting a piece of meat, egg, and cheese on an alternative piece of breadage. I tell him that they make it like that all the time so please do it. He tells me the dreaded words, �Please pull up.� Any of you who have ever eaten fast food realize that this now means I must wait an additional ten minutes while Quasimodo on the sandwich line pulls his head out of his ass and contemplates the quandary of transferring a piece of meat, egg, and cheese onto a biscuit instead of a bagel. This finally happens, glory be to God in the highest. The up side? Each Chihuahua got an entire egg b/c while waiting in the line for the 2nd time, I pulled the egg out and gave it to them. Then I did the same when I got the right order. The down side? Overloaded on egg, they shit on the floor. �
still here - 2009-12-18
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