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sex and dogs (google me baby!)
2003-07-11 - 7:17 p.m. Just had a tryst w/ Fl@sh. Very, very good lovin', as usual. He was teasing me on the way back to his truck (he was out of gas and I had to pick up and deliver him back) that I need to get in a relationship because I'm killing him! At 1st I thought he was serious, that I want too much sex from him, but he laughed and said no, and I knew he was kidding. I honestly can't handle a relationship at this point in my life. I'm scared shitless, and I need my focus to remain on school. A relationship would be such a distraction; at the first hint of trouble, or in the throes of new love, if I had a paper or a test, I'd blow it off and put the dude first. And that's a recipe for disaster. This I know is true. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. So I rely on my friend for sexual satiety. All he expects from me is discretion, and I'm all about being discreet. I know that what we have isn't for everybody, and it shouldn't be. It's immoral, with the potential to hurt innocent ppl who haven't done anything to deserve it. But I'm not perfect, I have needs, and there is no malice in my heart to take him away from his wife. God no! We'd never make it together in a relationship. There is no way. I'm justifying and rationalizing all over the place, but at the end of the day, it's still the honest truth, no holds barred. I don't have the capacity for self-delusion, which is both a blessing and a curse. I'm trying to get my basset and chihuahua (and me) certified as pet therapists to go into hospitals and nursing homes and cheer up the patients. I know it would tickle me pink to be visited by a sassy basset or a sweet, gray-faced chihuahua if I were in the hospital. They are perfect for the task. My other dogs, well...no. The little Italian-looking dog is an annoying licker and jumper (he just really, really, really wants to be your dog), my big dog is completely recalcitrant to the idea of wearing a leash and has left the house / back yard only twice in his life, le pup (who is now a fine-looking mid-size mutt) is too anti-social, and the spare chihuahua I just took in has issues with other dogs and is a barker. But the basset and my lil buddy chihuahua #1 are the shit. They'll make the cut, I just know it. I think it will be fun and really interesting. Plus I'll get to meet other dog ppl, and dog ppl rock. Nothing against cat ppl; I like cats, but I'm terribly allergic so I keep my distance out of necessity. OK, I'm rambling and d@ve M@tthews on the cd player reminded me that I need to call the c00nass before it gets too late. Be kind to each other and to yourself. �
still here - 2009-12-18
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