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Teetering on the brink of disaster
2006-05-07 - 9:49 a.m. So after we sprung my much-traumatized mother from the nursing home, I had the onerous task of explaining over and over and over again to her that her husband couldn't leave. Ever. Because Melissa was made temporary guardian and she had all the say so and she said "no." We did hire an attorney for $2,000 to intervene in the interdiction, but it was made permanent in February. Melissa also made me unable to visit him in the nursing home, which essentially means that my mom can't see her own damn husband b/c she also has Alzheimer's and is considered a security risk at the facility and must be escorted onto the ward and "babysat" while there. Melissa canceled all of the credit cards they held jointly and removed all funds from their joint bank accounts. I recently learned that she has liquidated over $20 grand from one money market account alone. This is Louisiana, a community property state, so half of the money belonged to my mother. We paid the attorney another two grand to freeze the assets that remain, and she will have to account to the court for how she spent it, but honey, it's a lot harder to reclaim money that's spent than to prevent it from being spent. Meanwhile, my mother's monthly income is not enough to meet her present financial commitments without his salary and retirement pension. To buy food and keep up with the bills, I had to liquidate assets she and I hold jointly since the death of my grandmother back in 1973 when I was nine. I always let her tend to the money, because if it had been in my hands over the years, it would be gone already. So we're selling stocls to buy toilet paper, basically. And dog food. Got to have the dog food. During all of this activity, mi hija gets pregnant. Happy happy joy joy - not! She wound up having an abortion by taking the pills, and it lasted so long and was so hard on her that I wouldn't recommend that route to anybody. She got fired from her job over it, and remains unemployed and very depressed. We all need medication of some type around here. Because my mom still doesn't have any of her furniture back, on April 5, she tripped over the cardboard boxes holding her clothes and fell and broke her right arm. "Crunched" the bone like rice krispies was the term they used. It's up by her shoulder, so they couldn't cast it, just put an immobilizer around her waist securing her wrist and elbow to her side. She became incontinent and remains totally dependent with round-the-clock care provided by mi hija and me. I got a phone call last week from Jared's ex-boyfriend (no, that's not a typo), informing me that he (the boyfriend) is HIV+, and so is Jared, which he vehemently denies, but as he was less than forthcoming abount his sexual identity, I'm not exactly falling all over myself to believe his lying ass. So let's add the looming threat of AIDS to the miasma that surrounds my world. I can't even bring myself to go get tested. Of course, we had major battles about it and he is supposedly leaving Tuesday. He was semi-helpful around the house here, mowing the lawn, fixing stuff, so his departure will not make life easier. Gipsy is dying. They are only doing the chemo now to extend her life by months; they don't even pretend to her that it's fighting the cancer anymore. Her cancer level jumped 92 points last month. I can't even go to TX to see her with all of this family drama / trauma going on. I remember when I started here at dialyland. I had another name back them, and I was so carefree and fun-loving. I had problems, but they were so small in comparison to the issues I struggle with now. I used to have fun and go out with friends and do things like take off for Florida or go out and east sushi or hit the Mardi Gras parades of just the bars. Now I'm always stressed and freaking out and on the verge of losing it all of the time. I threw such a fit at Mal Wart that I almost went to jail. the fuckin' bitch in the garden center was following me around like I was about to steal something b/c I ran in to get a UCB cord and paid for it, then decided to look around for potted plants in the garden center as I was leaving. Did she think I was going to slip a 20' river birch in the small blue sack or something??! People are scared of me now. My anger is awesome. I scare myself, because I know how self-destructive I am, how dangerously close to the edge of reason I am walking. I am peering into the abyss, and it beckons me. �
still here - 2009-12-18
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