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Pot pipe blues
2005-02-19 - 7:58 p.m. But wait - there's more! You know what's hard? I got this heavy pot pipe, it's made out of actual pipe couplings, so we're talking heavy metal, bay-by. Anyway, at least this one is flat on the bottom, so theoretically, you can set the bitch down between hits and won't spill your dope all over the place when it tips. But see, it's so heavy that it winds up tipping sometimes anyway. But that's not what I logged back on to bitch about. It's lighters. I can't keep a phucking lighter to save my life. Flash is bad. He'll pocket a lighter in a New York minute, but it's unconscious. Or so he says, anyway. But my daughter will take every phreaking lighter in the house and walk out the door. Or she'll leave her "dud" lighter in its place, which is actually worse, because I see a lighter & think, "I got a lighter," when come to find out, I ain't got shit. The last time that sucker worked was right around the Clinton and Monica debacle hit the front page. But I see it there, and I'm all, like, "I got a lighter, dum de dum dum," and it's more like "Dumb dumb de dumb, watch Shana try to light that heavy-ass pipe with this broken ol' lighter." And matches? Don't make me laugh! Find a match around here, no jokes about my face and your ass, and you the shit! All hail the Match Queen or King! Because I am matchless (and don't you forget it). So I got this pipe full of this dope, and I've tried 3 broken-down Bics and one of them torch-looking extendo-rod lighters. All were a bust. I guess I got to count change and make a run to the 7-11. It's hell being a pothead. �
still here - 2009-12-18
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