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why won't she ever learn?

2004-10-08 - 3:38 p.m.

Not a good day. Mi hija, now that she's 18 and apparently even before, does not feel the need to go to school every day. Including today, she has skipped 10days of school, which is even more than a day a week. One more missed day before January, and she gets no credit for the semester and doesn't graduate in May. Her grades are 2 Cs, a D and an I (incomplete) on her progress report. Sigh. She is really smart. Not genius by any means, and being totally immodest, not as smart as I am. But very smart - A & B material consistently. She is fucking off, just blowing her academic life for no good reason that I can see. I wish she would go to counseling. I know she's still mad at her dad, and I'm sure she's mad at me for getting sick like I have. That anger's coming out somewhere, and it seems she's turned it inward against herself and started acting out self-destructively. I know a little bit about that syndrome, having lived it for 40 years, or almost 40.

I want to make her see the disaster she is courting by ditching school and letting her grades bottom out. She's condemning herself to a lifetime of, "You want fries with that?" because she's mad she didn't get a picture-perfect life. You know what? Neither did I, and neither did most people I know. Maybe I know a disproportionate number of dysfunctional people, but everybody I know has had some hardship, either in childhood or later in life. I don't know anyone who has led a charmed life. Possibly Flash, but his marriage is a sham, even if he's content and his wife is oblivious. We are dealt the hands we are dealt, and we have to make the most of often crappy situations. Grow the fuck up and suck it up. Change what you don't like and learn to accept what you can't change. Stop mentally torturing yourself and becoming a negative version of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Things suck right now. We are barely making it financially, and there are other stressors, like the addition of Queenie, Gabby, and Brandon to our household. I understand that she gets frustrated, as do I. But she is shooting herself in the foot and crippling her chances at graduating and getting into college.

If only the teenage me, armed with the knowledge of the 40-year-old me, could sit her down for a reality check, she would learn so much. I am the poster child for how not to live your life. At least I thought I'd serve as a bad example of what can happen if you don't give a fuck and act out your own self-destruction.

previous - next

still here - 2009-12-18
and so it goes - 2008-12-16
Watch out Benedict! - 2008-01-28
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The Cure, Amy & Britney & Dogshit - 2008-01-05

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