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In a funk

2004-07-05 - 3:02 p.m.

I have been depressed lately. Last week I went to the wake of the 16-year-old daughter of a friend of mine. She drowned swimming in the river with friends. Her sister-in-law said that she broke her neck, but nobody remembers seeing her dive in. Her name was Samantha, and I knew her since she was in diapers. I brought all mi hija's outgrown clothes to her and her little sister Cherie because the family is dirt poor and their mama is a widow. The casket was closed, thank God. It made it easier. Four days after that funeral, one of my ex-boyfriend's burned to death in a car wreck. I didn't go to that one. We weren't close anymore, and I hadn't even seen him or his family since before I broke up with the Indian. But it affected me more than I thought it would.

I have been drinking, just saying fuck it all the time, not caring about my health. Not getting loaded, but still drinking. What's the fucking point? I don't know. I may still do the treatment, and I know I'll have to quit if I do it, but I'm not quitting right now. I'm very depressed lately.

Flash is leaving for an out of state wedding, and I told him not to dare leave without fucking my brains out. So we are getting together tonight after work. He wound up spending the night with me last week because he borrowed my truck to go to an early morning assignment when his was in the shop. Believe it or not, it was his wife's idea. Yes, it really was.

It's hot and it rains every fucking day, so I have no tan. I missed the fireworks the other night because my friends Celynne and Queenie are slow and braindead.

You could say I'm in a midsummer funk.

previous - next

still here - 2009-12-18
and so it goes - 2008-12-16
Watch out Benedict! - 2008-01-28
She got hit with the cancer stick - 2008-01-26
The Cure, Amy & Britney & Dogshit - 2008-01-05

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