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Cracklin' Rosie
2005-11-07 - 11:04 p.m. Last night Boosey and I tried to "crackle" my bookshelf. It didn't really work out the way we intended. "Crackling," at least this form of it (not to be confused with those fried hog skins a/k/a "cracklins'"), is painting a wall or piece of furniture one color of paint as an undercoat, and then applying a topcoat of another color so some of the first color is visible and makes it look "distressed," or beat up and old, basically. It's, like, really hip to have distressed furniture. So mine's bugged way the fuck out, ya know? But it's not exactly ctackled the way it's supposed to be. I think that we applied the top coat a bit too thickly for it to crackle. The stain I applied, however, to my inheirited now-antique and (in the case of one decidedly thrift shop curio table) rather shabby furniture, is the absolute shit. My furniture is now freakin' mahogany, baby! And it looks good, too. Shiny, even. Like it is about 20 years newer than it actually is. Maybe 30, even. I am the Queen of Stain. Who the fuck cares about crackle when you are the Queen of Stain? Boosey managed to spill almost a full pint of stain on the concrete slab that is still my living room floor from when Queenie & I yanked up the carpet in 2004 in preparation for the renovations she never performed. This was after she set a can of paint upside down so it leaked out into a big old pool of Antique White in the corner. Tony the Dog dipped his tail in it and made cool designs on the slab with it. Ya gotta love ol' Tony Short Bus. So . . . how 'bout them San Antonio Saints? That Tom Benson is gonna burn in hell, I tell ya. And just when you think it can't get any worse for the City . . . the freakin' Hornets start wearing Oklahoma jerseys. Jeesh! Have some loyalty, man! Get some respect! Don't kick a town when it's down and crawling for the corner. Really. �
still here - 2009-12-18
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