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It ain't me babe
2005-11-16 - 1:21 a.m. I've spent the last 5 days with Gipsy, and each day was like a gift. I would see her come out of her room in the morning, and I'd get the biggest smile on my face and just want to rush over and give her a big hug. I am so blessed to have her friendship back again. Never again will I jeopardize it by word or deed. She was extremely generous in sharing her pain medicine with me. I was doing it just to party; she told me that she felt secure enough here to actually get loaded on the pills because she couldn't do so at home. She was taking just the therapeutic dosage. So for two nights, we got loaded. We weren't driving or otherwise endangering others or ourselves, just relaxing and having fun. I don't even feel guilty. She and I share a bond. If / when I lose her to cancer, there will be a huge abyss in my life. She is so real. There is no facade at all. She is to-the-bone authentic, and that, unfortunately, is all too rare. So in 1 week Jared will be here. I am nervous as hell. What if we don't mesh? I can alwats kick him out, but who wants to go there with all the unpleasantness? Not I. I like it when it's all gooooood. I'm just a total commitment-phobe, so this is totally alien to me. I'm taking a very big emotional risk, and this is something I loathe doing and rarely do. Gawd, I hope it's not a disaster. I got a pap smear done today. Here's ho[ing that all my pieces / parts are in ok-working order. That crazy bitch on Wife Sw@p is not representative of the people around here. Actually, she probably is, unfortunately. But she is definitely not the demographic representative of my friends and me. Just so you know. But you already figured that one out, didn't you? �
still here - 2009-12-18
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